Coachella Arts and Music Festivle 2006, Indio, CA

Witnessed by Adam Bowman

If I've learned anything during my excursion to Coachella, it's that, well, a music festival just isn't a music festival without insanely uncomfortable weather, insanely overpriced concession, and an insane amount of girls trying their damndest to look like Paris Hilton.

Alas, however, I found solace in – what else? – the music. Plenty of excellence to be had at Coachella '06, and although everybody else you may have read reviews from will tell you up and down that this was all about Madonna, well...

...she sucked. Hard. Sorry, but she did. Fifty minute set in a tent nowhere near the size necessary...and she only played five songs, played fake guitar (there was nothing plugged into the thing! No wireless setup, no cords leading to an amp...noth-eeng) and generally caused poor Mogwai to maybe get half the attention they truly deserved. Although, to their betterment, Mogwai's fans did include Abandoned Pools mastermind Tommy Walter, damn good in his own right.

So, Yogadonna rant out of the way, let me tell you who actually put on performances worthy of note.

The first act anybody with any common sense enjoyed was The Section Quartet. High noon on a Saturday, these ladies and gentlemen brought the orchestral funk to Muse, Radiohead, Tool, Led Zeppelin (the solo to "Heartbreaker" on a violin? Hell yeah!) and plenty of other bands' tunes. Definite highlight was getting to hear Muse's "Hysteria" open up the set.

And it doesn't hurt that Leah Katz is hotter than the sun itself. There, I said it.

While bands such as Head Automatica rocked the second stage and Hybrid with Perry Farrell bumped up the dance tents, all eyes eventually beamed in on the Mojave tent, where Wolfmother ripped it up in a blistering 45-minute set that proved arena rock can be condensed to tent sizes and still kick the crap out of you. Phenomenally energetic set from the Aussies.

For the next few hours, things got funky as Damien Marley, Kayne West, and Common all put enticing sets (Common, in particular, was on his best foot as he held the main stage crowd in the palm of his hand all set long. The man has power, and he knows it...which makes his desire to better the world around him admirable.) Later on, Atmosphere would hit the second stage...but not before the masters of nasty known as the Eagles of Death Metal gave one for the ladies.

The most memorable thing about EoDM? They were Saturday's loudest band. Even when I headed back to the main stage, I could hear them. For reference, walk to the end of your street from about the sixth house down.

Yeah.

With all due respect to indie flag-bearers She Wants Revenge and groove masters Daft Punk, the most powerful performance of the evening came in the form of Sigur Ros, who took advantage of the relaxing main stage crowd to its fullest. Their swaying beauty matched only by their emotional intensity was perfectly encapsulated by their closer, "Untitled #8". A marvelous set punctuated by the visual oddity that were three stilt-walking giants covered in leaves, moss, and general earth-type things. A surreal site, definitely, but a perfect visual addition to Sigur's magnificent show.

What Sigur Ros brought in emotional intensity, Franz Ferdinand came in with bombast and Rolling Stones-like swagger. Alex Kapranos and company put on arguably the best set they could, as lasers and a hits-laden set combined to indulge every sense you could ask. The three-man drum solo didn't hurt at all (to explain: Paul Thomson and two cohorts banged away at his four-piece set with a rhythm that was flashy enough to sway to but tribal enough to groove to. It really showed that Franz can work a stage, even without overblown production stunts.)

Without being harsh, headliners Depeche Mode were obviously a bit out-gunned. Dave Gahan's vocals were strained at best (he would later be forced to leave a show early while battling laryngitis) and the band relied mainly on their 90s material. Still, the crowd was devoted, and Saturday ended on a good note.

Sunday, on the whole, was meant to be Madonna day. Everybody was stoked for Madonna, all the radio stations hyped it, all the music sites lauded it.

Too damn bad Tool was the real headliner.

Don't get me wrong, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Sleater-Kinney put on insanely good sets, but the night belonged to Maynard and company.

Let's digress a bit, however, and touch on four other acts who really deserve credit.

The earliest note of exception really came from Matisyahu, who attracted the first really large crowd on Sunday's festivities. He didn't really disappoint, to be honest, as the songs were tight enough and the crowd was into it. His highlight was easily his solo beatbox throwdown. Going from old style rap to techno and finally back to a mixture of hip-hop swagger and techno quickness, Matis managed a good three-minute spin before eventually closing out his set with "King Without A Crown". Some have said it was a career-defining performance. Personally, I felt it was solid, and would definitely advise anyone nearby to at least give him a listen.

Following Matisyahu wasn't Tool, wasn't Madonna...they were Sleater-Kinney. Admittedly, this was my first real time getting to wrap my ears around the ladies, and it was worth every bit of my time. Although Janet Weiss probably wanted to kill her microphone, she instead put the energy into her damn fine drumming, nailing the bass so hard the microphone actually fell off of the riser. Overall, the crowd opted to check out the Wizard of Oz-costumed Gnarls Barkley (who my sources tell me were quite excellent as well), Bloc Party, or Paul Oakenfold, but they missed out on an excellent rock show as the energy was there and the attitude was apparent, and thankfully not overbearing.

Following SK was O. Karen O. And the YYYs. Playing to "the biggest fucking audience we've ever had", the band gave every last bit of energy they had. Busting out new single "Gold Lion" early on in the set, the war-painted Karen swayed, swaggered, and seduced her way through a strong set, although major props have to go to drummer Brian Chase. His style is definitely influenced by jazz, and he brings an energy to his live performances that excellently recalls that type of soul and confidence. Despite a somewhat-flat "Maps", the Tri-Yeahs were a sight to behold.

While everyone and their hair dressers then scurried off to go see Mrs. Richie, the stage was being set for the main stage's final two performers. Before Massive Attack's emergence, however, I have to note something of particular importance:

Coheed and Cambria is the loudest damn band I have ever heard without seeing.

Remember what I said about Eagles of Death Metal on Saturday? Well, you could probably have heard C&C from the other end of the friggin' street. Walking back from the garden on the opposite end of the polo grounds, I could hear Claudio and company. Which really only means one thing for me...

...writes "Coheed & Cambria" on his Bands I Must See NOW list...

Massive Attack was, for lack of better terminology, Massive Attack. It assuredly wasn't a bad set, as the band busted a good number of known tracks as well as enough anti-Bush propaganda to hopefully get the job done (for an idea of their stage set, simply visit their web site), it was simply a case of the crowd knowing full well what was about to come. Fans of the Attack were not disappointed in the slightest, and even myself – being someone who has only recently discovered the band – was satisfied with the performance.

At 11:00 PM, however...well, it hit the fan.

With essentially every eye left in the festival on the main stage (I did kind of feel sorry for Jazzanova, Scissor Sisters, Michael Mayer, and Art Brut, to be honest), Tool hit the stage and laid down a powerfully tight set for a band that had been off of the stage for so long. Hits like "Stinkfist", "Sober", and new single "Vicarious" sounded crisp and free of rust, although there were minor hangups during "The Patient".

So it wasn't perfect. Who the hell cares? It's Tool.

A 90-minute set, complete with a more-social-than-usual Maynard, left a massive throng of people satisfied and headed for the exits around 12:30 AM PST. The culmination of two days' worth of music, heat, and mayhem (seriously, try not to gag when your particular flock of people get pigeon-holed in between all of the porta-potties) left all who came with sensory overload. Although a little lacking in the art department, there were enough festivities for all of the concert-goers to indulge whatever they sought fit. Great times, all around.