You look over the track titles, and think to yourself "Damn, they're pissed."

And for a small part, you're right.

You read the lyrics, and think to yourself "Damn, they're serious."

And again you'd be right. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Static-X with a sex change and one other difference. Instead of "evil", they're honest, and instead of "disco", it's death metal. And while these four high school (yes, high school) gals aren't as big as The Spice Girls, I personally venture to say that their music would chew those Spicy b*tches up and spit them out in a heartbeat. I would also personally venture to say that they're freakin' gorgeous, but that's an, entirely different review (sorry, Drain STH, maybe we can still be friends? :) )

Anyways, onto the music. They kick it off (and kick your ass) with the title track "Spit". And I'm just gonna be honest, they kick your ass. You sit there, you listen to it, and by the time the 2:20 are over, you're in need of a hospital. It's THAT damn brutal. The music, lyrics, all of it. It leaves you battered and bruised like no other band can do. The damn thing's like a mugging, brutal and quick. And I couldn't love it more. Hurt me baby :)

The lyrics in and of themselves are the picture of how Kittie sees the world. And needless to say, there is NO hint of love or happiness coursing through those lyrical veins. If any lyrics compare to this band, it's "One" by Metallica. "Charlotte" sums it up, "It's not allright."

But stop the presses, they actually show a melodic side midway through "Charlotte", allowing a little rest period before the kick in your teeth again to close it out.

As is the case with most metal, the bass and drums dominate. Kittie's tandem of bassist Telena and drummer Mercedes Lander go above and beyond the call of duty, giving riffs and beats that any old school thrash metal fan would drool over. Mercedes proves that she has faster feet than track star Michael Johnson, as the bass drum rhythm to "Suck" makes me cringe just listening to it. Meanwhile "Do You Think I'm A Whore"s drum track....is just awesome. It's just awesome.

Unlike what the title might make you think, "Suck" does not suck. Kicking off with a melody that a snake charmer would love, it soon dives into a pool of rage, only to get back out...and dive in again. Much like "Spit", it beats you into oblivion. Morgan Lander's singing on "Do You Think I'm A Whore" is admittedly self-retrospective, unlike most of the other cuts. And believe me when I say 'cuts'.

The first single from the album, "Brackish", is the culmination, summarization, and overall celebration of what Kittie is. Straight to the jugular lyrics and just freaking brutal music. Fallon Bowman (no relation) comes in during the chorus with vocals so quick they'd make that Wayne Static and Jonathon Davis wet themselves, and send Marylin Manson running home to mommy.

In case you haven't caught my drift yet, this album is both awesome and a hazard to your physical health. But it's not without some comparison. "Jonny" opens up very much like something you would see from STP musically, only to go head-first into a tongue whipping from Morgan's lyrics. Unfortunately, tongue whipping is only figurative. Damn the luck!

Much like Drain STH, a few of the songs tend to open up the same. The primary examples are "Trippin" and "Get Off", which both kick off with drum intros ("Get Off" does lead you to believe that Sean Kinney of Alice In Chains decided to drink a wee bit before playing No Excuses). Other than that, you're hard pressed to find anything wrong with the album.

"Raven", "Choke", and "Paperdoll" continue the ass-kicking trend, but each one brings a little something different to the table. "Raven" has lyrics that any cynical poet would love (only to go into a completely INSANE chorus). "Choke" does tend to sound like a Drain STH song, with the twist of poison lime that I now know to expect from Kittie. And for the record, any ex-wife will appreciate the sarcastic chanting of "Was I not good enough for you, king?" included in the song.

Meanwhile, "Paperdoll" is where you begin to see a hint of goth in the actual music. Complete with bongo drums and that eerily-familiar guitar riff (I would say what it sounds like, but I just can't think of it!). The constant image of the Barbie being roasted in the video for "Black Hole Sun" is right there while you're listening. Surprisingly, "Paperdoll" is more mid-tempo and melodic than any of the other songs. However...it only leads to quite possibly the scariest damn song I've ever heard. And I sat through the video for "Aenima" IN THE DARK!

From the opening seconds, "Immortal" picks you up and places in you in a dark, dank castle. No lights, just darkness. The eerie mixture of guitar and techno loops leave you in a fit of hysteria, wondering if you'll even make it through the shock of where you are. As the piano kicks in, you begin your journey to find a way out of this place. Soon, you find a door, and as you open it, the guitars kick in and you find yourself staring into the face of a ferocious lion. Somehow, you make it past and continue on, in the dark. Finally, the music ends, and you're left standing, in utter darkness and total silence. What comes to you from here on, you'll never know.

In the end, the album is arguably the best heavy metal you will find for a long time. Any band will be very challenged to top what the four awesome women of Kittie have brought out. And the thought of this being their debut, only promises one thing. We can expect a lot more ass-kickings in the future. And I'll be damned if I won't be there in person for them.