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The Midget's Soapbox Vol. 4

As all us metal fans know, the Grammys are...once a year. To the admittedly small population of us that aren't drunk, asleep, or listening to Lateralus repeatedly (that thing will hypnotize, I'm warning you), we know that Grammy time is actually just around the corner, and the nominees have been announced (you can find a list of the important categories by going to our News Page. I think we'll both agree, though, that the Grammys can just about be held in the same light as MTV. So, to combat this, I'd like to hand out the first ever ... Music Industry's Doormat, yet Good Entertainment Trophy, or MIDGET for short.

What does this award mean, you ask? Well, jack squat to be honest, but damn-it, it means something to me. This award is my chance to honor the band that, I believe, was the best of 2001. There are no criteria for this, except for a) the winner must have received little to no publicity for their efforts or b) the fact that the person handing out the MIDGET must have liked their choice for specific reasons over all opposition. In other words, it had to rock and you have to be able to explain why it rocked. Don't worry, I'm not going to assign you to do a five-paragraph essay explaining why. As someone who's in college right now, I can't stand seeing the *%@#% things myself.

Anyways, onto the first-ever MIDGET. The nominees are...

1) Static-X -- Even though their second album Machine debuted in the Billboard Top 10, how many times did basic cable users ever see the videos for "This Is Not" or "Black & White". Why, only the privileged satellite folk got to see those. Videos aside, Static-X don't receive as much radio airplay as one would give a platinum-selling act. Aside from various college stations, you won't hear much from the techno-crunch quartet through the airwaves. Fortunately, their fans have had more than their chance to see them live, as they've toured with Pantera on the Extreme Steel Tour, and are now headlining with Soil and Soulfly. Let's not forget, Machine is a solid album that showcases the strengths of the band while not re-hashing "Push It" again and again. All of this, combined with the fact that you can find various members everywhere (guitarist Tripp Eisen is helping out Joey Jordison's band The Rejects, and singer Wayne Static recently lent his throat to the Queen Of The Damned Sountrack, as well as his hands on the X-ecutioners new single "It's Goin' Down") shows that these four are working hard and putting out some quality work in the process.

2) 40 Below Summer -- This band is a band for all the metal guitarists out there that don't want to play anything lead. All throughout their debut Invitation To The Dance, there are some solid riffs combined with cool vocals that never go to the depths of hell nor go to Robert Plant's hey day level. Although hampered by repeated misfortune whenever a tour is arranged (the latest being when they were set to road with Slipknot, only to have Shawn Crahan's wife fall into poor health), the band is picking up steam via somewhat-consistent radio play. Sadly, the album isn't exactly flying off record store shelves (although it should be), and TV aren't exactly touching these guys. Why, I don't know. All I know is that we've got a review of the album here for all to read.

3) Craving Theo -- College students should know this band, if anyone does. Their debut single, "Stomp", features a catchy choral melody mixed with well-put-together tracks (see if you notice the little techno-esque sound effects in each chorus). Although not a full-fledged national force yet, Craving Theo have been gaining steady momentum by stringing together strong shows now and again. For anyone that's had the chance to hear them perform or hear their recordings, though, you know why they're the third nominee: they have solid, catchy music that manages to stray from being completely commercial.

4) Stereomud -- These four have probably received more radio airplay than the past nominees combined. "Steppin' Away" and "Pain" have been over the radio consistently since their late-2001 and mid-2001 releases, respectively. Despite the occasional technical delay, their part in the Music As A Weapon tour with Disturbed and Adema gave them a slew of new fans, and they're even being featured as a part of M2's Handpicked Compilation album. Although it will be interesting to see what 2002 brings for these guys, 2001 was beyond a shadow a doubt an excellent year for Stereomud.

and finally...

5) Oysterhead -- Ok, ok, so they're not metal. I never said any of the nominees HAD to be a metal band, did I? The fact of the matter is, though, no band on this list probably exemplifies the MID part of the MIDGET more than these guys. You would think that if one took three members of three insanely-popular bands and put them together, that attention and eventually, album sales, would go through the roof. *buzzer* Nope, sorry, try again later. The entire album, who's review can be read here, combines a fun sense of funk and folk that, although peppy at times, keeps you bobbing your head to the rhythm (despite whatever else you may be doing) and lip-synching the words. Unfortunately, the side project was just that, a side project, and shows were only in a small abundance. No videos were ever made, even for "Mr. Oysterhead", and radio play was limited at best. Those who had a chance to hear it, though, couldn't put it down afterwards.

and the winner is......

Static-X -- Granted, the loyal reader of mine could have figured this one out about a page and a half ago, but Static-X is the winner of the first ever MIDGET. Although each of the four bands make very strong cases, I think these guys are the only band on the list that can make two strong cases. When "Bled For Days" was released as the first single to Wisconsin Death Trip, as well as being placed on the Bride Of Chucky Soundtrack, there wasn't much hoopla about it, despite it being an awesomely crunchy song. It wasn't until the second single, "Push It", was released, that all the Static-X hype began. And even still, it took the release of Machine to get the ball rolling again, as "I'm With Stupid" suffered from the same curse that plagued Days Of The New's song "Enemy" when its video was released to television airwaves (that being the whole curse where if your song is edited in the video, it will flop), and "Love Dump" received only moderate heat. Ultimately, Static-X gets the MIDGET by having to gain everyone's attention twice, which is something some experienced bands can't just now begin to say.